First things first: mean everything you say, and say every good thing you feel for them.
According to Gary Chapman in his popular 1995 book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate there are five love languages, all of which have been examined
If your partner’s love language happens to be words of affirmation, it is not enough to constantly tell them and reassure them of your unfading feelings for them, it is just as important for you to note that there are certain things you cannot afford to do to if your relationship with them will be a happy one and stand the test of time.
Below we list three of the things you can’t do if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation:
1. Paying no attention to your words
This pretty much goes without saying. If you are with a partner who values words of affirmation, then you have to regularly remind him or her of your undying love and affection towards them. But then it does not mean you cannot correct them or criticize them when they are wrong.
Giving them words of affirmation should not take away the duty of honesty which you owe your spouse.
What’s important is that your criticism is constructive and doesn’t tear them down as opposed to building them up.
2. Disregarding your tone
Mind you, not only are your words supposed to be affirmative and as reassuring as possible, it is also important that they’re said with the right tone and the proper inflections in your voice so as to convey the right feelings of sincerity to your partner.
It is just as bad as saying nothing if your words to this type of partner lack authenticity or is viewed as such.
3. Saying things you don’t even mean
The word you speak to your partner will be held quite literally because of the extra-sensitivity people like this have to words. One of the worst things you can do a partner whose love language is words of affirmation is to intentionally say things that hurt just to beat their spirit down.
It wouldn’t matter that you apologise later. It wouldn’t matter that you actually didn’t mean it. It is far better to not say this to them than to say it and hope to make it good later.